We survived the first week, but just barely. I definitely lost my shit this morning when I couldn’t find the piece to one of the kids’ lunch tiffins that makes the whole thing snap together, so I guess you could say we’re officially back in the swing of things. HA!
The truth is this. I don’t have time to write every day. Not even close. I didn’t get dinner on the table until 9 PM last night, and I most certainly did not fold the laundry in the dryer like I said I would. Nor did I go to the gym. There are five individual schedules to maintain during the week and each one of them is different. It’s a little like spinning plates, I imagine, just as you get one balanced another begins to wobble. I’m constantly doing at least three things simultaneously, with never an opportunity to focus completely on just. one. thing. It’s only the third day of school and I’m already looking forward to our first long break! I’m coming for you, Thanksgiving!
Unfortunately, the one struggling the most during this transition is Roux. He’d really grown accustomed to being surrounded (and doted on, ahem) by his entire family all day long, and then one morning 3/5 of us disappeared for hours. I’m trying to help him as best I can, with extra snuggles and all the comfort nursing his tender heart desires, but I’m also finding it challenging to get anything else done besides. And I had such high hopes!
Instead of trying to control the course, I’m trying to flow with it, a distinctly different approach from my usual tendency to freak out when things don’t go as planned. We’ll see how long this lasts.
We’re off a running! Today went rather smoothly as far as first days go, fingers crossed we’re able to maintain this positive momentum. The baby didn’t even wake up to give me a goodbye kiss this morning, the little bugger, and I even had big plans for a sunrise walk, just the two of us! He was extremely thrilled when I returned and was not willing to let me out of his sight for too long for the duration of the day. He was adamantly opposed to staying with his siblings in the playspace at the gym this afternoon, so I scratched my work out and we all headed for the pool.
I am learning to squeeze what I can into the spaces I can find, and to take advantage of moments as they are presented. And, most importantly, to let the rest go. A little each day goes a long way into the care and maintenance of our home, is what I’ve learned this summer. I’m trying my best to implement small but regular rituals that keep me from getting too overwhelmed with the tiny tasks that can pile up into giant workloads.
Trying to go to bed at a reasonable hour is something else that I aspire to, but I find that once the kids are asleep and all is quiet, my mind springs to life. When else am I going to find the time to work on my own projects?! Or spend quality time with my husband, for that matter? These are the questions that literally keep me up at night!
More hours in the day, or a slower march of time. Is that too much to ask?
It’s here, the first school night of the year is here. We’ve had ourselves twelve weeks of late nights, lazy mornings, with a general looseness to our schedule that just doesn’t exist for nine out of twelve months. It’s been beyond nice, heavenly really, and as there are only a couple hours separating us from the start of our new rhythm, there is nothing left to do but declare this season finished.
But, oh! She was really something special. I’m a little sad to see her go, Summer 2015, but I do like her friend Autumn very much, and rumor has it this one is going to be particularly festive.
(I’m up much later than I should be for a girl with an alarm to face in the morning.)
This was a really good summer filled to the brim with lots of precious family time, which is exactly what I had been craving. Roux’s arrival really knocked everyone out of orbit just a little bit, in the way new babies often do, and it was during this season we found ourselves humming along, each of us having adjusted more or less to the new dynamic within our tribe.
I know that it has taken me an especially long time to reconnect with myself, and I’m almost certain I haven’t yet done so completely, but there was something about this last full moon that brought me a tremendous amount of clarity as if the path I have been searching for has finally been illumined.
The year ahead is suddenly exciting and full of potential whereas a few weeks ago I could barely even think about school starting without my heart racing. I am not at all looking forward to saying goodbye to my tiny guy each morning, but I am eager to create new weekly rituals during the hours we will have together, just me and him.
The back-to-school to-do list is looming and I confess it got the better of me yesterday insofar as my negligent posting. However! I am owning that list like you wouldn’t believe. Our house is just about Chrysler Building Sparkly, and I’ve been promised a present should I manage to keep it properly tidy for an entire month. I miiiight even attempt an actual home tour, but let’s not get too ahead of ourselves.
I’m debating a third cup of coffee, which is never a good idea. It’s only that today is the very last lazy Saturday and I want it to linger just a little while longer. Or forever, whatever.
I swear I had something meaningful to share but now there’s a blank screen in font of me and my brain has turned to mush. This is what happens. And I’m trying my best to break through it.
I did see a rabbit yesterday and then again today only instead of one rabbit there were three. They sky was especially vibrant today, and even though I’m not quite clear headed, I can feel the haze thinning.
There are only six more sleeps until the first school night of the year, followed immediately by the first alarm clock of the year, otherwise known as the first day of school. It’s happening, and all too quickly. I’m trying to squeeze every last drop out of these final few days, but somehow I feel like that is making them pass even more quickly!
Also, the repair man came today and fixed our AC so tonight I’m looking forward to sleeping without a layer of sweat between me and my covers.
Also also, I gave myself a pedicure + a facial last night so yes, I’m feeling really elegant and ladylike today, which is not at all a bad thing in the least. Plus, my sweetheart took me to lunch and bought me my favorite shirt in a new color (it was on sale), so I have nothing to complain about other than the lack of thesis in this here blog post!
The swiftly approaching conclusion to what has been the most scrumptious summer is breaking my heart just a little, to be honest. Why does September always come so quickly?! I love the fall, really I do, but summer is my happy place and this one did not disappoint.
When I woke up this morning and realized that August really, truly had evaporated, I knew it was time to buckle down and get to work. There is much to do before the official start of the new school year next week, not the least of which is accepting that lazy mornings in bed with my squishy beebs are numbered. Also, laundry. All the laundry.
One of the things that tends to happen once the frenzy of the school year has overtaken our household is that my personal endeavors fall entirely by the wayside as I become consumed with and responsible to the hustle and bustle of the week. It is my express intention to not allow this to happen, to instead focus on cultivating the kind of personal discipline required to be the vibrant and successful working mother I know I’m capable of being, as opposed to the scatterbrained ragamuffin I tend to become.
I’ve set a small goal for this month, to be present in this space on a daily basis. Because there’s nothing like a public announcement to keep motivated, is something I have come to know about myself. In truth, it has been far too long since I’ve maintained a daily writing practice, and it has been my particular experience that good things happen when I do so.
Today marks the start of the twentyfourth month we’ve lived in our house on a hill by the sea. Not a day goes by where I don’t think at least once how incredibly fortunate we are to be exactly where we are. But there is plenty of room for growth, and that is where I’m putting my energy.