For maybe the first time ever in my life, I’m a little bit relieved to be done with July. I’m more than ready to greet a new month, a new week, and what feels kind of a like a new season.

Our summer vacation had hardly started when we lost our littlest love; it will be a full month this Friday that we’ve been grieving. Grief is not a stagnant thing, it is dynamic, evolving, undulating, unexpected, everlasting. I’m moving through it as best I can, I don’t think I’ve ever tried so hard to take care of myself and my family, which has helped me to heal immensely.

I know that I will carry this loss closely, undeniably a defining life experience, but I also know that I am able to alchemize the pain into productivity. I’m ready to see where this path leads.