Love

HELLO THIRD TRIMESTER

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27 Week Belly Shot, 12/18/13

I was describing my general state of being to my doula/dear friend/cherished colleague Amanda earlier this week, and she joked that it sounded as if I were still in my first trimester. And it’s true! I’m easily nauseated, overwhelmingly exhausted, and unexplainably emotional. To be honest, that’s kind of how it’s been this whole entire pregnancy. Actually, all of my pregnancies have been like this. Despite the physical similarities, however, this one has been a completely different experience.

From the beginning, I have approached this pregnancy with new perspective. I’ve had a long time to reflect upon my previous two deliveries, and decided a while ago that if ever given the opportunity to bring another life into the world, I’d do so outside the traditional medical system. My reasons for this are many, and perhaps one day I’ll actually get around to writing about how and why we made this choice, but for now I will simply suggest The Business of Being Born as a great documentary on the subject of hospital versus home birth.

Through this process of allowing pregnancy to happen without hardly any intervention, I have become more trusting and confident in my own body and its inherent ability to grow, birth, and sustain a baby. Because we haven’t had any ultrasounds, we rely entirely on heartbeat and movement to monitor the growth of the baby. As such, I find that I am much more in tune with all the various bumps and nudges in my belly. Quite a bouncy little thing, this baby, and I absolutely love it.

We have decided to wait until the birth to find out whether the baby is a boy or a girl, and I can’t even begin to tell you how fun not knowing is turning out to be. Our family has bonded together in the sweetest way as we eagerly await the arrival of our newest member, and I’ve managed to fall in love all over again with each of these radiant souls I’m blessed to share my life with.

With just a few days left until Christmas, our house is buzzing with preparations for our simple celebration. The kids have been hard at work all month long, handcrafting and carefully wrapping no less than two dozen presents, all of which have been placed with care under our tree. My fingers are busy stitching up some last minute gifts, and there is baking to be done and movies to be watched. And a proper Christmas feast to be made, my favorite.

This is a really, really special time in my life. I have always loved this season, and to think that next year we’ll have a new little person to celebrate with is just about the best gift I have ever been given.

FULL

Posted on by Lynzie · 1 Comment

simmer

Hello, December!

After a much needed week-long break from school, I was jolted awake by my alarm this morning and wasn’t all that happy about it. The kids, however, were both eager to return to their rhythm and made it out the door in record time for a Monday.

This Thanksgiving Holiday was nothing short of perfect. Most of it was spent at home, which is pretty much the only place I want to be these days, and there was so much food it was kind of ridiculous. I started preparing our feast Tuesday evening and couldn’t have been more pleased with how it all came together. I even made the best pie ever, which just so happened to also be the prettiest.

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I mean.

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Have you ever hand cut leaves from pie dough with a paring knife? Because wow, that is some tedious work. Can’t wait to do it again!

Seriously though, spending quality time with my sweet family in our little nest was just what I needed. We watched some favorite Christmas movies, ate too many molasses cookies, and even managed to put up some of our decorations. The kids spent most of yesterday making and wrapping presents, and at the end of the night as we lit our first Advent candle, I was overcome with gratitude for this beautifully chaotic life of mine.

In other news, I received a few texts and messages recently of the “You’re pregnant?!?” variety, so I thought this might help clarify things a bit.

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And that’s before I started eating for three straight days.

IN A NUTSHELL

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First of all, did you know that pecans are pink? So fancy! I spotted these pretties at Sprouts last week, and now I want some to decorate with for Thanksgiving.

We’re nearly 24 weeks into this pregnancy, and so much has transpired for our little family since learning of the baby that it’s hard for me to know where to begin.

We moved, but that probably doesn’t surprise anybody. We move a lot. But this time, there was intention. We wanted a house with space enough for a new addition, and at least one more bathroom. We’d hoped to end up in a more family-friendly neighborhood, perhaps one within walking distance to something cool. And hey, if we didn’t win the rental lottery with the place we found, then I don’t know what.

Our new house is a quirky little gem, which actually isn’t all that little. Nestled in the winding hills overlooking Downtown San Diego, it’s a spacious split-level straight from the 1960s and nearly everything is still in its original condition, including the contact paper in the cupboards. Rather special, this place.

Regardless, moving is hard. I’m particularly bad at it, in fact, which is quite funny since I do it so damn often. But this one really got to me, and I’ll spare you the details but it wasn’t pretty. We’ve been in our house nearly two months, and although we aren’t anywhere near settled, we’ve come a long way. There is even a dedicated space for the littlest one, even though there aren’t any things to put there. Yet.

We also gained a housemate in the form of one Jesse Miller, my dear ex-husband and father to Emet and Jade. He’s been here just over a month, and what I can say for certain is that there is nothing that makes those two kids happy quite like having all of us under one roof.

With less than four months until the due date, I’m finally feeling as normal as possible because let’s face it, growing a human isn’t exactly comfortable. But it is exciting! I have lots of plans for our home and for our family as we continue to prepare to welcome our newest member, and lots of thoughts that I hope to share here.

Unexpectedly expecting my third child remains an incredible lesson in surrender and acceptance. And gratitude. I am truly blessed, and even though I may struggle in this way or that, ultimately my heart is filled with joy and peace.

Plus, I’m so thrilled for the Holidays I can hardly stand it.

BUMPS IN THE NIGHT

Posted on by Lynzie · 1 Comment

babybelly!

Nineteen Week Belly Shot, 10/22/13

I think it’s starting to sink in. We’re having a baby! And we’re almost halfway there!

I wish I could say that I was feeling better, but the truth is that I still struggle from day to day. I haven’t been writing much of anything lately, and the thought of stringing together coherent sentences in an attempt to capture the poignancy of this time in my life is overwhelming. Making it through the day with all of my responsibilities tended to is about all I can handle.

Yet I can’t help but feel an incredible urge to preserve these moments as best I can, to somehow make them tangible. They are so very fleeting. And they are precious, even if they are trying.

The baby has been moving a lot recently, and I’m so grateful. Feeling those kicks and flutters somehow makes up for the fact that it’s almost three in the morning and I’m awake because I had to throw up. Again.

Before long, I’ll be up at three in the morning again, and not because of an upset stomach. Instead, I’ll have a tiny baby to care for.

I can’t wait.

AN ANNOUNCEMENT

Posted on by Lynzie · 2 Comments

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image via

Expect the unexpected, that’s what I always say. Which doesn’t exactly mean that I was prepared for the surprise our family received this summer.

Indeed, just one day after we celebrated Emet’s tenth birthday, we learned that a new member of our family will be joining us this spring.

My sweet mister and I are having a baby and we couldn’t be more excited!

I’m 17 weeks pregnant, and still fighting a daily battle with nausea. It got the best of me for a few months, and I blame my absence from this dear little blog on the fact that it’s been twelve consecutive weeks of waking up in the middle of the night to vomit. Yeah, baby.

Last week, our midwife proclaimed both the baby and I in excellent health. We were able to capture the sound of the baby’s heartbeat, which has been on constant repeat for the past several days.

The sweetest.

Welcome to the family, Baby Baker! We can’t wait to meet you!

THIS + THAT

Posted on by Lynzie · 1 Comment

alone

image via

So, I’ve been feeling a little under the weather. All the excitement of last month finally caught up with me, and I’ve been in bed since Sunday recovering.

Not all is lost!

For my birthday, my sweet mister gave me the kitchen appliance I have been coveting for the longest time, and many a chocolate milkshake have I eaten as a result. And a few orange creamsicles, too.

Here’s a tip: Topo Chico is the sparkliest of all sparkling waters and oh so refreshing. So yes, I’m starting to feel better, thank you.

Our little family watched this short documentary about one of our favorite bands last night. We were lucky enough to see them at Coachella before they officially started their tour and it was pretty amazing hearing those songs that I’ve loved for years finally played live.

And now it’s August!

SHAKEY GRAVES

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shakey

A while back, my mister and I discovered an Austin, TX based musician called Shakey Graves. It was love at first listen. Last year, while in Austin for a wedding, we got to see him play at Stubb’s and it was just perfect.

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Tonight, he’s playing at Soda Bar here in San Diego, which means I got me a hot date with my love!

shakeygraves.com // @shakeygraves

LINKS + LESSONS // 05 – BIRTHDAY EDITION

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Today took my breath away, from beginning to end. The whole week, really. It’s been a pretty special time of celebration and reflection; I’m feeling very doted upon and very, very lucky.

My magical friend Jessica gave me a cake. A cake! I haven’t had a birthday cake with candles since before Jade was born. Jessica brought the cake to a restaurant, and everyone sang and then cheered when I blew out my candles. I will never forget that moment for as long as I live, it was that special.

And she caught it on camera!

It’s enough to make any birthday heart burst, and mine has a million times over.

Today is also special because it marks the conclusion of my thirty day writing challenge. Phew! As such, I have decided to link to a few of my favorite posts from the past month:

The one about Emet’s birth. And mine too, really.

The first LINKS + LESSONS post.

That one time I posted an actual recipe!

My thoughts on Independence Day. Plus a video essay from Bill Moyers!

This one was posted on my lovely friend Kate’s blog, which I wrote about here.

I started this particular project with the specific intention of rediscovering my inherent happiness. I’d say it was a smashing success. The Power of Intention, indeed.

GOODNIGHT, THIRTY

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image via

What a wild ride this thirtieth year of mine has been. I have been blessed in the most unexpected and marvelous ways. I have been challenged, and I have grown.

I am happy.

My wish for this year was to find peace, and boy did it ever come true. Even in my most audacious dreams, I could not have imagined a more fulfilling way to enter into this next decade of my life. I am humbled by the way the Universe has conspired in my favor, simply because I trusted that it would.

I can’t wait for what lies ahead. Bring it on, 31!

A NEW PRACTICE

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jade_meditate

pardon the poor image quality, but this is one of my all-time favorite shots

I have rebellious chi, is what I learned from my very first acupuncture appointment.

You see, my next door neighbor is the greatest, and when he found out that I wasn’t feeling so well, he insisted that I see his acupuncturist. Being the no-nonsense kind of guy that he is, I was surprised by his enthusiasm for alternative medicine, and I took his recommendation to heart.

I think I told the good doctor that I was nervous at least a half-dozen times during our initial consultation. Needles aren’t really my thing. Except tattoo needles, but that is an entirely different subject.

As it turns out, acupuncture is exactly what I thought: little needles and being still. What I wasn’t expecting, though, was the almost immediate sense of relaxation that resulted. I’ll admit that I have a long way to go before I’m able to fully surrender to the experience – I talked myself out of ringing the bell to call for assistance on three occasions – and I only feel slightly foolish for allowing a silly thing like fear keep me from something that is truly beneficial in maintaining equilibrium.

Today was the first time in over two weeks that I didn’t taken a nap. Not that I didn’t want to take a nap, napping happens to be one of my signature talents, but that I didn’t need to take a nap. A small miracle, I say.

My assignment for the week is to spend more time meditating, in an effort to harness my individual energy.

And by “spend more time” of course I mean “start”.