I’m going to be come right out and say it, the second month was hard. Weeks on end of irregular and interrupted sleep wreaked havoc on my nervous system, and it manifested as good old fashioned anxiety with a smattering of depression. Also, high blood pressure and I never have high blood pressure. Except for that one time during labor, and this is where I tell you that the birth story, and all of its gory – literally, gory – details, is forthcoming, but that it might take me a while. I mean, it only took me ten years to write the story of my first birth! But I digress!


Week Seven just about knocked me flat on my back, and I spent all day, every day in bed. This baby of mine, he needs me. Needs me in a way my other two never really did, those two have always been so independent and extroverted. Not this baby. He wants to be held all of the time, and eat all of the time, and to quietly observe our family while perched upon either his father’s shoulder, or mine. He missed out on an entire month of time in utero, it makes perfect sense as to why he wants to spend so much time snuggled up to one of us, but that doesn’t make it any easier. It does, however, make it necessary, which is why I had to make the difficult decision to extend my maternity leave until the Fall.


Ugh! The guilt! Once I finally accepted that as much as I want to, I can’t actually do everything – including being a handwork teacher while carrying an infant – I got a little bit excited about getting to spend these next few months at home.



This tiny guy, well, he’s not so tiny these days. In fact, he officially grown out of his preemie clothes and is fitting nicely into the newborn size. We’ve used an Honest Co. diaper bundle this last month, and we’re going to continue for another month, but in the next size up. And because he’s eating and growing as well as he is, we’re actually starting to get a little sleep around here, about four to five solid hours at least once a night. Life changing.


He’s still not the most interested in people or things, but he has started to discover his voice and the sounds he makes are a cross between Gizmo, deflating balloons, and choirs of angels. Just perfect.


Adjusting to life with a new baby is accepting that everything is in constant transition, this is as true for the first time as it is for the third. There are just more variables, like school days and baseball practice, which only add to the chaos. But it’s all chaos, so what’s the difference? We’re figuring it out as we go, one day at a time, and so far, we’re doing pretty darn well. We hit the ground sprinting, and are just starting to find a more comfortable pace.


Oh Huckle, my Huckle! I knew you were going to be a cute baby, but the cutest baby? You are the spitting image of your father when he was a baby, and aren’t you lucky because he is one handsome fellow. In the night, when you are hungry, you whimper so sweetly that I can’t help but be happy to scoop you up into my arms and give you milk, your favorite thing on Earth. I’m lucky to be the one who gets to nourish and sustain you, and those moments are some of my most favorite. You have made the most perfect addition to our family, even better than the bunny I wanted. I mean, I still want the bunny, but now the bunny will be for you! When we get the bunny, that is. Maybe next Easter, wink wink?



image via mister baker’s instagram

The thing is, having a broken foot is highly inconvenient. Having a broken foot at 31 weeks pregnant? Ridiculous!

I’m getting by, thanks to many helping hands at home and at school, but I can feel my system working overtime in order to heal my foot and grow this baby.

I haven’t been able to get to any of the things I had hoped to at the beginning of last week, things like organize our bedroom and rearrange the living room, but I did manage to make a proper list of essentials for both me and baby. At least, I started to make that list.

Of course the upside to all of this nonsense is that our tiny one is as well as can be, growing and moving and being all babylike. My belly has grown significantly over the past couple of weeks, which has elicited all sorts of sweet words and thoughtful touches from people, including strangers. I’m thankful to have gone my first full week without throwing up! That alone is a sort of miracle. While pregnancy-related-nausea and I have made peace, I’m very glad to no longer feel sick to my stomach on a daily basis.

Undoubtedly, most of my energy over the last week was devoted to my injury. Now that my foot is on the mend, I’m able to relax and refocus my intentions toward this baby and the weeks to come. My midwives would like us to have everything prepared prior to our home visit, which means we’ve got 35 days to get ready.

Where is the time going?!



27 Week Belly Shot, 12/18/13

I was describing my general state of being to my doula/dear friend/cherished colleague Amanda earlier this week, and she joked that it sounded as if I were still in my first trimester. And it’s true! I’m easily nauseated, overwhelmingly exhausted, and unexplainably emotional. To be honest, that’s kind of how it’s been this whole entire pregnancy. Actually, all of my pregnancies have been like this. Despite the physical similarities, however, this one has been a completely different experience.

From the beginning, I have approached this pregnancy with new perspective. I’ve had a long time to reflect upon my previous two deliveries, and decided a while ago that if ever given the opportunity to bring another life into the world, I’d do so outside the traditional medical system. My reasons for this are many, and perhaps one day I’ll actually get around to writing about how and why we made this choice, but for now I will simply suggest The Business of Being Born as a great documentary on the subject of hospital versus home birth.

Through this process of allowing pregnancy to happen without hardly any intervention, I have become more trusting and confident in my own body and its inherent ability to grow, birth, and sustain a baby. Because we haven’t had any ultrasounds, we rely entirely on heartbeat and movement to monitor the growth of the baby. As such, I find that I am much more in tune with all the various bumps and nudges in my belly. Quite a bouncy little thing, this baby, and I absolutely love it.

We have decided to wait until the birth to find out whether the baby is a boy or a girl, and I can’t even begin to tell you how fun not knowing is turning out to be. Our family has bonded together in the sweetest way as we eagerly await the arrival of our newest member, and I’ve managed to fall in love all over again with each of these radiant souls I’m blessed to share my life with.

With just a few days left until Christmas, our house is buzzing with preparations for our simple celebration. The kids have been hard at work all month long, handcrafting and carefully wrapping no less than two dozen presents, all of which have been placed with care under our tree. My fingers are busy stitching up some last minute gifts, and there is baking to be done and movies to be watched. And a proper Christmas feast to be made, my favorite.

This is a really, really special time in my life. I have always loved this season, and to think that next year we’ll have a new little person to celebrate with is just about the best gift I have ever been given.