Sleep. I just can’t, it seems. I’m so uncomfortable, I’ve yet to find a position I’m able to maintain for any duration of time. Tossing and turning, moving from bed to couch and back again half a dozen times, and every morning rising with the dawn, unable to bear the thought of “resting” for one more second.
I have to keep myself busy, it’s the only way I can manage to get through the day. Running every errand, doing every chore, making and writing and cooking and eating, all the things to keep from doing the one thing I can’t which is think.
My mind, it is such a complicated place. We’re friends, my brain and me, but it’s not a relationship without its sordid history. It’s far too easy for me to run a rather morbid narrative in my mind, the past several days have been as dark as they come. Being still is not an option.
But how can one sleep without stillness?