Getting through it, and by it I mean packing.
Packing has never, ever been something I’ve mastered. And I’m even worse at unpacking which means that I generally suck at moving, so it’s a good thing that we’re moving!
I will say that I’ve done a better job of getting rid of things this time around, as opposed to the many other hasty moves I’ve made in past where I pack things like expired coupons. If I really, truly think about it, most every move I’ve made has been hasty. Out of necessity, not choice.
Where I will land on the other side of this remains to be seen.
My big kids have landed at their dad’s house. He went out of his way to change his work schedule so as to accommodate being a full-time father to school aged children. He has stepped up more than ever, and his support and flexibility through this transition deserves to be commemorated, even in something as trivial as a blog post. He even watched Roux for me this evening so I could get to a meeting at school.
The last time my big kids and I were separated like this was when Babe and I first moved to Portland. Ultimately, I would spend 88 days away from them, and what I remember most about that time is the missing of them. Like I just wasn’t all there, a part of me absent from everything.
I don’t expect to be away from them nearly as long during this upheaval, but the fact that I can’t say with any certainty when I’ll next be able to spend the night with them is the kind of despair only understood by another mother separated from her children.
How, how, could I have let this happen?
I think of a million ways in which I could have possibly prevented this, and then I think of million ways in which I will definitely grow from this. In which they will grow from this. We all will grow from this. And I can’t speak for everyone, but I most certainly want to continue becoming a better version of myself.
This is me looking on the bright side.