I STOP AND I TURN AND I GO FOR A RIDE

So, I blacked out on New Year’s Eve.

It was meant to be a quiet evening spent at home – alcohol, yes, but nothing out of the ordinary. We’d purchased a nice bottle of champagne to toast the new year, and planned to make a few rounds of margaritas while we enjoyed high quality family time playing games and listening to music.

That’s pretty much exactly what happened, except I can’t remember much past 9:30 PM, which is saying a lot because there is video evidence of me being (barely) awake past midnight.

Have I mentioned nothing like this has happened to me before?

And it’s not like I’m a heavy drinker, or am overly intoxicated on a regular basis. Which made the whole thing all the more strange.

I’ll spare you – and myself – the details, but the point is that it was the kind of experience that makes me consider why I drink alcohol in the first place.

To be honest, I don’t really have a good answer other than I like it and I think it tastes good. Especially high alcohol kombucha and good champagne. Or prosecco, or cava, let’s be honest. Still, it was not difficult for me to realize two things: that there are far better things I could be drinking, and that I probably don’t need to drink alcohol as much or as often as is my habit to do.

A little over a month ago, I decided to take a break from drinking alcohol. I definitely sleep better. I am more productive. I think I’m more present in general, but I can’t tell if that is because of the not drinking, or because of this writing practice. (True story!)

I like where this challenge has taken me. This morning, I hiked up a mountain and it’s been a long time since I’ve done that. Also, I didn’t actually intend to hike up the mountain this morning, but that story is for another time.

It has been ages since I truly felt anywhere close to my best, and I used to feel great all of the time. There have been many reasons, many opportunities, many excuses for me to ignore my own well being. In this manner, I have become stagnant. My acupuncturist back in Asheville used that term all the time, and I’m finally understanding what he meant.

Tomorrow, a new month begins. And in a way, another kind of a new year. I’m celebrating with a nice, long reset. A very good friend swears by the Whole30 program, so that’s what I’m gonna try.

Here is my logic: if this is how I feel after only giving up alcohol, I’m very curious as to how I will feel after giving up literally everything else. I’ve never done a cleanse like this before, and there is a good possibility I will develop a new set of habits as a result. I mean, there is a lot of forethought required in the kind of eating that does not include any dairy, sugar, grains, legumes, or alcohol. If nothing else, I will get good at packing my own lunch for school, something which I fail to do on an almost daily basis.

All of this to say, it’s been an odd time. I’m hoping to shake things up by radically shifting what and how I eat. Let’s see where this goes.

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